Wolf Moon

I shot this photo from my back door last night. According to what I read online Native Americans refer to last night's moon as a Wolf Moon. I can see why, if I were I wolf I'd be howling at it too, heck maybe I will tonight. lol The star on the left is Mars. It was truly mystical.

Saturday with Grandma

"Every moment spent with grandchildren is all the more precious when you think of all the ones missed with their parents."

In search of Bliss

I just read a post by Jen Kershner of The Cottage Nest about choosing joy. In the last year I've had to work very hard to choose joy, I never imagined that joy could be so difficult to hold on to, I have always been a blissful person, have always looked at the bright side of every situation, and forgiveness has always come easy for me. But this past year I've been tested.

My husband and I agreed to have both my sons, their girlfriends and our granddaughter live at our home for a while when the economy took a turn for the worst. We thought it would be really wonderful to have our granddaughter with us, and it has been, she has brought us more joy then we could have imagined. The grown up children, now they have been a challenge. Too many adults, too many opinions, too much tension. I recently had to stop everyone and announce to their surprise that I wanted to be happy, I wanted to feel joyful again. They all asked what I meant, they couldn't understand how all this tension had taken a toll on my inner peace, my creativity, my bliss. I knew that the first thing I had to do was forgive, in trying to help them I got sucked into their drama and of course at the end of the day, I was always the bad one. I apologized for my anger and kindly told everyone that it was time they found other living arrangements, which they acknowledged it was time to do, I told them I did not want anyone to ask for my advice if they didn't really want it, I have learned that sometimes I just need to say, I don't know, you need to figure that one out on your own. My husband does it beautifully, I on the other hand still feel I have to solve their problems. Time to let go, time to find joy again. I think this poem by Mary Oliver says it best;

The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice-- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do-- determined to save the only life you could save.

A brief escape.

Even in the middle of winter my garden calls to me....

A beautiful excerpt from Gift from the Sea

Intermittency -- an impossible lesson for human beings to learn. How can one learn to live through the ebb-tides of one's existence? How can one learn to take the trough of the wave? It is easier to understand here on the beach, where the breathlessly still ebb tides reveal another life below the level which mortals usually reach. In this crystalline moment of suspense, one has a sudden revelation of the secret kingdom at the bottom of the sea. Here in the shallow flats one finds, wading through warm ripples, great horse conchs pivoting on a leg; white sand dollars, marble medallions engraved in the mud; and myriads of bright-colored cochina-clams, glistening in the foam, their shells opening and shutting like butterflies' wings. So beautiful is the still hour of the sea's withdrawal, as beautiful as the sea's return when the encroaching waves pound up the beach, pressing to reach those dark rumpled chains of seaweed which mark the last high tide.

Perhaps this is the most important thing for me to take back from beach-living: simply the memory that each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid. And my shells? I can sweep them all into my pocket. They are only there to remind me that the sea recedes and returns eternally.

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ Gift from the Sea

An Ordinary Miracle Today

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms." Mary Oliver

Just when I thought Spring was in the air, and my thoughts were drifting to my garden. I wake this morning to complete silence, the kind of silence I have learned comes when the world outside is covered in a blanket of snow. We have had much snow this season, but this one was different, the flakes were large and light, like white feathers falling from the sky. I ran down the stairs with camera in hand and exclaimed, "This is beautiful!" My husband who was already up preparing breakfast turned to me and said, I knew you would say that, and nodded his head, he has had enough of snow. I ignored him and went on my merry way clicking away at the beauty outside, not sure why, but I think it will be the last snowfall of the season and Mother Nature wanted to put on a real show.

America's Apples

Every once in a while, when I take a bite out of a crisp apple, I am brought back to the first time I ever tasted one.....

I left Cuba with my family at the age of six, we had lived under the dictatorship of Fidel Castro long enough. Almost fifty years before, my paternal grandparents had left Spain for a better life in Cuba. There they found a paradise full of hope and opportunity, my family lived a comfortable life, with businesses and a beautiful home, but that all changed when Castro took over, slowly everything was taken from them. The life they had known for so long ended, by the time I was born in 1963 not much remained of what had been. As far back as I can remember my father's youngest brother, Ramon, spoke of America, he would refer to United States as El Norte, the paradise of his dreams. My other uncles who were already living here would send us gifts, money, and many photos of New York City. Being a child protected me for a long time from the sadness that was around me, and I did not know about the lost dreams of the people I loved, my life was full of joy. Every Friday I would get on a train with my parents and younger brother and we would spend the weekend in the country, where my mother's family lived. There I would run barefoot, play with the animals, ride horses, and catch fireflies at night, no electricity, no running water.....but that didn't matter, all that mattered was sitting by the crystal clear river at my aunts house and watching the fish as they swam close to the surface of the water, the sunshine, and the wild orchids in the fields........ then one morning my father was taken away to work the fields, from then on he was only allowed home on weekends. My father who was a shoe designer by trade, a man who was always perfectly groomed, now came home wearing filthy clothing, dirt under his fingernails and a broken spirit. To be allowed to leave Cuba and take us with him, he had to serve the government through hard labor. I knew sadness then... my mother would cry all the time, all anyone would talk about was how life was going to be better in El Norte. A year later my parents received a telegram telling them that we had been granted permission by the Cuban government to leave the country, no time for goodbyes, no need to pack. We would not be allowed to leave the country with any of our possessions, the government would confiscate it all. Within a couple of days we were boarding a plane to America, My brother and I were not told we would never see our beloved grandparents, or the rest of our family again. Only that we were visiting our family in the United States. My mother did not even get the chance to say goodbye to her family, she cried for the entire flight. She was able to return several years later, but by then her father had passed away. It was a bittersweet reunion. When the plane landed at Miami Airport we were processed for several hours before we were able to meet with our family, all I remember was feeling lost, afraid. I couldn't understand the language, my parents seemed nervous and very sad. Then we were allowed to meet with our family, a new family to me, I only knew them from pictures and letters. I don't remember much of what happened those first few weeks but I do remember, apples. The first time I walked into a supermarket I was in absolute amazement, and when I was told I could have anything I wanted I thought...uncle Ramon was right, dreams do come true here.... As my uncle Federico loaded the groceries into his car, he handed me a shiny red apple, I had never seen this fruit before, he told me to take a bite, the scent, the texture... it was bliss. That was the beginning of my journey in this new and wonderful country. Today, I don't always agree with our politicians, always have some opinion on how things can be better, but when I walk into a supermarket and purchase whatever I need, or want. I remember that little girl that stood in line for hours in the hot sun with my parents just to get what the government thought we should have, I am infinitely grateful for the sacrifices my parents made, grateful to live in a country where I can have my apples and eat them too.

Name Five

I've been tagged by Brenda from Wiser by the Wrinkle (love the name of her blog, so clever) to name 5 Things. I decided to name five things that keep my life blissful. Of course, love, family and friends at at the top of any list for me. But these I have found are my foundation, these five things create the person I have become. 1. Solitude: I have found that I need solitude, without it I cannot function. I have always found time in my day for at least a couple of moments of complete silence and solitude, moments when I have my conversations with God/Goddess, when I replenish my soul. Early on I taught my boys the value of solitude, the enjoyment of just being with oneself. While on vacation taking solitary walks on the beach early in the morning is the ultimate cleansing for my soul. "I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up." ~Pearl S. Buck

2. Gardening: Living in the Northeast I have to endure too many months without my garden, but from Spring to Fall I certainly take advantage. My mother inspired my love of gardening, she spent so much time in her garden while I was a child that I don't have too many memories of her indoors.

Nothing like the scent of soil in the Spring, and a home filled with flowers to lift the spirits. Now my mother looks forward to my garden. Whenever she visits she vanishes without anyone taking notice, and when my brothers and sisters begin to wonder where she is, I always know where to find her. The photo above is my favorite corner, on hot summer days I turn on a small sprinkler that attracts all varieties of birds, I sit down with a cold ice tea and enjoy watching them happily chirping and bathing. Those are the precious moments when all feels right.... My granddaughter is already showing signs of the same illness. ~Giggles

My Creating Room The Met.

3. Art: The photos above are from my last trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. As an artist the Met has always been almost church like for me. I often imagine God's pleasure with the creations of his/her creations, (Not sure if that makes sense...) Written history can be subjective, art is the true embodiment of it. I often come across artists here in blog land who inspire me and leave me in awe at how creative human beings can be, and I think...someday his or her work will be at the Met, and this persons self expression will be our history.

4. Knowledge: As I child my paternal grandfather told me to read, read about everything, and I do. I am often amazed when I hear someone say they don't enjoy reading. There is so much to learn, so many stories to get lost in....

"I've traveled the world twice over, Met the famous; saints and sinners, Poets and artists, kings and queens, Old stars and hopeful beginners, I've been where no-one's been before, Learned secrets from writers and cooks All with one library ticket To the wonderful world of books. ~ Anonymous ~

5. Romance: After 29 years of marriage romance has become some much more then flowers and dinners by candlelight. Romance is sitting out on our back porch on hot summer nights sharing laughs and a bottle of wine. It's watching him pick flowers for our granddaughter and gently placing them on her hair. Romance is watching my husband laugh with our sons. Waking up at the same time at 3am and talking till the sun rises. Tracing the soft lines on his face while he sleeps, and realizing that I have truly loved him through thick and thin. It's when I kiss him before I leave for work and he tells me I look beautiful. When he winks at me across a crowded room and I know just what his thinking....

And the Award Goes to....Sea Dream Studio

I want to thank Brenda of Wiser by the Wrinkle http://ctgc-countrytowngolfcourse.blogspot.com/ for nominating my blog for the Proximity Award. I was honored and thrilled. Brenda has a wonderful blog that I turn to often, it's full of great blogging tips and information, with dashes of humour. Pay her a visit. I'm sure you will find some valuable tip or link that will make your blog even better.

The "Proximity Award" is given to blogs that believe and invest in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! I am to pass this award on to eight bloggers, who must choose eight more and include this cleverly written text into the body of their awards.

It was really difficult to choose just eight, I have so many blogs I love. Here is my first, I will post one a week so I can give each the praise they deserve. My first Proximity Award goes to:

Sea Dream Studio http://dalemclain.blogspot.com/

Dale is an amazing artist and displaced mermaid who creates whimsical, magical digital graphics, altered art, and jewelry. Stop in for a visit at her imaginary kingdom by the sea. If you simply must own one of her creations stop in at http://seadreamstudio.net/ Her magical mermaid grotto's are my favorite, they are truly enchanting, her work is an inspiration to my artistic nature.

Note to Self...

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Desiderata (Latin for "Things to be Desired.")by Max Ehrmann

I found the above poem in the village of Chatham , at a flower filled courtyard surrounded by quaint little shops. I always visit that lovely place when in Cape Cod. There, on a bench, was a basket filled with copies of the Desiderata. I kept one, and over the years have read it to my sons when life doesn't seem to be going their way. Recently I needed it. I occasionally need to remind myself how truly beautiful this journey is, even with the bumps on the road.

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